Soul Sick?

[Wilde]

Hi, I now realize that the topic of "discouragement" is not an easy one for discussions, somewhat strained the brain while thinking, trying to put some rationality in it mandy. Wouldn't surprise at all if people just skip the subject and get on with their lives. Being discouraged is having the 'feeling' of despair in the face of obstacles and seldom does one readily talk about it except perhaps to a confidant, a closed group or a counselor. While some prefer to engage themselves solely in private prayers to God only proves how challenging discouragement can be if it is to be made open for all to see. And yes, Christianity spurs us on to encourage one another but here's the problem: you have to encourage yourself first before you're qualified to encourage the discouraged one next to you.

What discourages a person? Generally speaking - a mountain too high; an obstacle or a disadvantage. Add your own list if you wish to.

We live in a world full of 'em, a world that often holds the upper hand to our dreams, our desires, and ultimately to our destinies. Oftentimes, men allow their entire minds to be set at doubt and discouragement because of the seeming disadvantages their life seems to bring. Not to the likes of Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, Helen Keller, Homer (Odyssey), Milton (Paradise Lost) who were blind, and Beethoven was deaf when he composed some of the world's greatest symphonies.

Furthermore, churches suffer also from disadvantages. Finances are short, revision of leadership, and the congregation is discouraged, etc., etc. Couple that with each member's individual problems and disadvantages; their time is limited, their walk with God is not what it should be or, their family does not support their decision to go to church. You name it, every one has a reason to be discouraged. But we must not dismiss the fact that these disadvantages can also spur us on to greater victories if we refuse to be discouraged by them. Some of the greatest Christians in history are often those who did not grow up under the pews. Some grew up who were not involved in weekly church attendance, were raised in abusive homes of drunken dysfunction and neglect. However, they did not let their situation decide the outcome. In fact, it usually energizes their resolve to change not only their own lives but also many of those around them.

But I must lay down the cards face up on the table. If it weren't for friends, my brothers and sisters praying for me, who knows the amount of damage discouragement could inflict on me. And if there's anything the world's not short of it is disadvantage and its resulting discouragement. It's everywhere. I believe that when you release the creative power of God's Spirit in your own or someone else's life through prayer and faith, anything is possible. Once again, discouragement is a feeling of despair in the face of obstacles. Refuse to let this feeling overcome you and drag you down but instead let it be a starting point where you will be enabled by God to encourage others. Now that is a challenge.

[mandy1]

Wilde So sorry this subject caused you such "brain strain"....but you must admit brother...better "brain strain" then "brain drain" !

You bring up a good point...I was hoping someone would mention the act of "self encouragement". IT IS VITAL! Folks so often depend on..and wait for someone to encourage them (and while we know that is good and necessary), self-encouragement is very important...it to is necessary, for, if I am allowing myself to feel down all of the time, and making no effort on my own, to build myself back up....it just is not going to happen! WE BECOME ENCOURAGED...OR, DISCOURAGED BY THE CONVERSATION WHICH TAKES PLACE IN OUR OWN MIND. When a person is constantly telling themselves how bad their situation is, how hopeless and useless they are, then it is not going to do too much good when I try to encourage them...for their own mind is going to reject what I and anyone else will tell them. What needs to happen is , that I tell Susie what a good person she is, and how much she has going for her, and how much The Lord loves her, and Susie herself begins to pick up on what I have said, and begins to repeat it to herself when she is alone.....that is when things begin to change.

Wilde I like your title...LOVE DOESN'T WALK AWAY...PEOPLE DO. Let us all purpose in our hearts to do whatever we can to build one another up, and to help encourage the discouraged, for God has prepared a happier walk for you and me...He has chosen a higher road for us...the Victory Highway rises above the town of Discouragement, it passes by the city of Uselessness, and puts us on the fast track to Happyville!!

Let's hear some more good sharing on this subject.

[bulletgirl]

King David is a good example in using self encouragement... Mandy, yours and Wilde's post reminded me of a verse in Psalms... it is repeated at least 3 times...
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, [who is] the health of my countenance, and my God. (Psalms 42:5, 42:11 & 43:5)

I find that to encourage myself, i have to take my eyes off of my circumstances and place them back on Jesus. Also, when I just look around and see the souls dying without Him, then I realize my life is so much better off, no matter what comes my way, just because I have Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.
I think the fastest way for discouragement to set in is being angry with God for not changing your circumstances. If we believe that God is all powerful, we know He can easily "fix" are situations. Living in a world that has to have everything now, has made it hard to wait on God. The "patient edurance" issue that has come up in a lot of threads. Patience and Perseverance are something that is lacking in our society as a whole.

[mandy1]

.....ah yes, Bulletgirl...that is a great scripture Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, [who is] the health of my countenance, and my God. (Psalms 42:5, 42:11 & 43:5)

You are so right there...we do have to get our eyes off of the problems, and how we feel about those problems, and focus on Almighty God before we can encourage ourselves.....for to only see our own inability to live a victorious life is enough to discourage us. We must see God who is greater than any of our problems...regardless of what is in our way. Paul says "for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain".....we are constantly in a "no loose situation"....AS LONG AS OUR EYES ARE ON OUR MASTER!

When it comes to encouraging ourselves, I believe that I need my brother or sister to lead the way...to sort of "prime the pump"....to get me started, and then....I should be able to pull up my own socks. Let's not assume that a person can always encourage themselves, for that would be a wrong assumption. There are times for all of us when we do need another voice, another hand to take ours, and begin to encourage us. If we didn't need that then God's word would not admonish us in that direction; but....then there comes a point where I have to take over as my own encourager...and ask myself "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, [who is] the health of my countenance, and my God. (Psalms 42:5, 42:11 & 43:5)

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[mandy1]

Hi Everyone
I was just reading back over this thread to see if we have covered everything and decided to pull up this quote again...something Bulletgirl shared early on. She says I don't know about others, but the reason(s) I hide when I am discouraged or at least hide the discouragement is because I do not want to drag others down. It is hard on friends when they are having a good day for you to be down hearted. That is an excellent point...a mark of great consideration for others. So....let's say Bulletgirl is discouraged, and she tells me about it, what must my attitude be , so that I do not become pulled down by her depression? What should I do, as her friend and sister in Christ, so that she does not "spoil my good mood?

[phoenix10]

Howdy, Bulletgirl knows what she is talking about. there are people yopu can talk to and people you cant. Also when the problems dont go away over years I really cant blame people for moving on. That is why our connection to God is so important to us. I also believe we are all children of God no exceptions but we dont always feel it or know it. and we havent always with awareness given our lives to Him or have an open connection with Him. I was so blessed that in my old depression and confusion God Jesus came to me to show me He is really real not just a concept an etherial being disconnected like some picture in a frame or a cloud in the sky or just words in the bible. When everyone else gave up on me for their own good He was always with me. I received him I said it with my mouth and declared Jesus as real and God manifested as a man on this earth. and then I still went through hell but He always had my back. I would not take meds for over ten years untill I saw how others were helped by them. then it took vigilance and God telling me to trust my instinct so that I would immediately tell doctors that the medication wasnt working. God showed me the right one eventually even when I thought the one I was taking was the best they could do. Now I dont need them much at all I think my body has taken over making whatever it is I need. Also years of work on my life has helped. I dont believe things easily so unfortunately I had to lose and get better and lose and get better and lose and get better.

Now it is really important not to talk to everybody because I find that even the best christians like to gossip under the guise of "discussing". It is good to keep silent sometimes . it is good to get help from people who are well trained and then even they will not always know what to do with you. If it wasnt for Jesus I would have given up a long time ago.

people judge, christian or not because not everyone has a compassionate Christ consiousness.

I am also guilty. the worst time in my life was when I found out that even I could be a tupid jerk. I just hope that I can someday use what I have learned to help others. I try but I am not always successful.

Mandy you are a compassionate soul but not everyone is gifted with the gift of helps in that area. people in trouble are hard to be around. The best thing people can do is to at least say " I am so sorry I wish I could help you but I( just dont have the skill I am on a different path I dont know what to say to you but I will pray for you.

sometimes people just cant even listen because it has a negative affect on them so I learned that it is a good thing to keep silent so as not to bring the other down. God has often blessed me for that.

there is a wilson phillips song that used to make me mad but now I get it.
In that song the words say " you can sustain or are you comfortable in your pain? no one can change your life except for you you got yourself into your own mess. let your worries pass you by and just Hold on for one more day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2L9I...eature=related For me changing my own life included seeking help I was doing a course in miracles at the time. Supposidly Jesus but requiring alot of work work that I could not do I needed to be saved. and then Jesus came I received him and began really learning how to get connected to Him in a real way not just through words on a page( although I couldnt put the bible down those words came alive for me.) but then through talking to him and letting Him walk with me unceasingly, He has brought many gifts into my life and when someone left He brought me someone else to be with me for a while. people need people too. Now He has opened my mind to learn from people I was afraid to learn from in the past. I am older now but its never too late.

[mandy1]

Wow........I just love it when folks share their "in depth" thoughts....for we all have many different ways of looking at things. Phoenix....I love what you say there......The best thing people can do is to at least say " I am so sorry I wish I could help you but I( just dont have the skill I am on a different path I dont know what to say to you but I will pray for you. Great advice that! What makes it so great is that, with that attitude, one is being very open and honest, and saying "I can't help you there" Personally I admire folks who are so open and honest...it is a trait I have always admired, and want to have.

Thanks for sharing that Phoenix.

[bulletgirl]

Originally Posted by mandy1

... So....let's say Bulletgirl is discouraged, and she tells me about it, what must my attitude be , so that I do not become pulled down by her depression? What should I do, as her friend and sister in Christ, so that she does not "spoil my good mood?

Hi Mandy,

For me, if i am discouraged, it helps for the other person to help me mentally process what is going on. Usually giving their insight on the different scenarios and responses. Then, it is great and helpful when the other person chooses to do something "off the wall" with me... like go hike up a mountain, ride bicycles up the mountain (watch out for the rocks, they hurt when landing ..LOL), go watch a funny movie, rent a funny movie, etc. You have helped the other person just by listening and giving your insight if you have any, just the caring by listening helps though, then, by taking their mind off the problem (which is usually the best way to solve something... let the brain process it subconsciously) you have helped them to enjoy the day just like you are enjoying it, without getting down too.

[mandy1]

Bulletgirl thanks for those good suggestions on how to help lift someone's spirits. It is always so helpful to here what others need when they are down. Yesterday I talked to a young woman who has started attending group therapy sessions, and even though she had strongly resisted going, in the first place, she told me how much she is enjoying it. So...I asked her "What is the greatest lesson you have learned so far", and her answer was just what I expected it to be....."I am learning that I am not "differrent"...I am normal, and other people have feelings just like me". Hallelujah!

I asked earlier...........So....let's say Bulletgirl is discouraged, and she tells me about it, what must my attitude be , so that I do not become pulled down by her depression? What should I do, as her friend and sister in Christ, so that she does not "spoil my good mood?
I believe the answer to that is the same as we must do for ourselves, when we feel down.......refuse to focus on the problem!!! But...focus instead on the problem solver.

[phoenix10]

hello. I had the opportunity to lift someone's spirit the other day and I blew it. I did what I hate someone doing to me. I started analyzing and fixing and i only made things worse, It was a lesson for me but it was a pain for both of us. Blast.

[Genesis1]

All of your comments i read with interest.It feels good to see so much openess.It also helps me to look inside myself,and see what i might be 'missing',to attach and to grow,so i can help others better aswell.
If i'm discouraged,i like to talk about it.Not always in the open at first,for sometimes i'm shy about things,and want it to be more clear first,so i can 'rewind'some things if possible,and then try to react more straight to others.
Sometimes it is hard,if you have much in you,and it takes more time,and probably some repetative thoughts on certain events,because you want to understand the situations and yourself better.
Most of what i do in this,is with focus on helping others eventually.
I also like to listen to their stories what they want to pour out (to me) and observing ,as it helps you also with yourself,so you can be of better help to the other.
I like to cheer people up if i can by doing that,listening,encouraging words,prayer,
or indeed do something fun with them.Sometimes even all in one if the time is there.
It feels good if i'm discouraged,to do something for someone who is also in a situation,also in relaxing communication,as it often gives blessing for both in exchange.

[mandy1]

Hi Genesis..nice to have you join in here.

It has been my experience that it is impossible to encourage another without being encouraged yourself......it is obvious that you have discovered that also. Hallelujah!

Phoenix..you may feel as if you screwed up, but...no activity is a loss if we learn something from it.

[phoenix10]

I think its important to go to the right person for help too. one of my favorite teachers says dont go to the hardware store to buy milk. I usually dont help moms alot because I am not a mom. I am definately not an expert in finding love. and I have never been married or lived with someone so Im ignorant there too. What can I say. I try to be helpful but I also try to steer others to the right help.

and i agree Mandy never beat yourself up if you tried but werent successful because at least you tried. and everyone has to take responsibility for their own healing too. I commend those who seek even if it doesnt have the desired result because asking and seeking leads to finding. no blame no shame. comfort others with the comfort you have been comforted with. sometimes what I have been comforted with doesnt help the other too. all we can do is try.

I have to say too that I forget to put myself in the others shoes. I forget to remember what it was like to be in a similar position. I Prefer to pray for the person then I know they will find their way.

[youngeone]

I would agree with you MANDY .40 years ago I knew people who believed similar things that you mentioned and unfortunately there are some still around . YES when life really deals one a heavy blow we need some one to come along side to encourage us, to pray for us, and to love us ,and to direct us to professional help . I have been there and for a long time I did'nt know a christian that could help me, .I am so grateful to our LORD ,He lead me to people that did help me ,that seriously prayed for me. My life began to change with support . I have healed now and have a great support system in my local church .

[mollynidhiry]

YES when life really deals one a heavy blow we need some one to come along side to encourage us, to pray for us, and to love us ,and to direct us to professional help

i am very late to visit this sharing . But such a awsome sharings from all and the last one Youngone a timely help for me as i am in such situation for another one right nowamen. it enriched and enlightened me thanks